21 Unapologetic Things I Will Live By for The Rest of My 20s


I can't wait to be 21! I think I've said that all my life until I reached 20 and even then I referred to myself as PRE-21. Sooner or later the clock will strike 12am on July 13th I will be 21 years old. It's crazy because I've waited all my life for this moment to be officially grown (although I've always felt official).

There's something about reaching this age that makes you more conscious of your future whether it be your career or financial goals. It makes you really sit down and re-examine your life. I say this because 10 years ago I was an eleven-year-old caught up on Pretty Ricky and the imaginative world of Nickelodeon and Disney.  Then one day I was working and graduating high school and in the blink of an eye my college graduation is right around the corner.

I've been hype to turn 21 since I was PRE-21! It's not about drinking for me, I'm sure I can turn up whenever, but I'm hype because now is the time for me to go after the life I'VE ALWAYS WANTED. Because once I graduate the world is literally at my feet and I want to walk all over it. So this year I celebrate not only a new beginning of being grown (yassssss momma you will never get tired of saying my baby and I will never get tired of saying I'm grown) but a new chapter in my life.

With that said in reaching this birthday milestone and assessing the past 20 years of my life here are 21 things I will live unapologetically by for the rest of my 20s. I can't promise there will be some days I won't slip up but in this declaration, I'm promising myself to work towards better days, thoughts and peace.

1. Get my financial house in order

I'll be 21 which means in 2 years I will be 23 and almost 25. By that age I would like to have some debts paid off and a stable source of income. Most importantly, I would like to adopt a minimalist lifestyle and an emergency security blanket as well as prepare for retirement savings. If this article doesn't get you revved up to get your financial house in order I don't know what can.

2. Begin each day with positive thoughts

Depending on your circumstances starting the day off with positive energy could be the hardest thing to do. Yet, it is imperative I commit myself to doing so because for a while I've let negative thoughts deter my happiness and motivation. I believe that I am my thoughts and if I continue to think negative I will put out negative energy. So today it begins!

3. Commit myself to focus on the relationships in my life that have positively impacted my spirit 

Once again, the focus in on positivity. Sometimes we tend to focus on things and people that have walked out of our life, whether it be missed opportunities, old friendships, mentorships etc. It's important that for the rest of my 20s I focus on the energy around me that is POSITIVELY impacting my spirit. If not, let go and let god!

4. Never beg anyone for attention or time 

Those who are meant to be in my life will be present. I should never have to beg for attention and time from those who truly want to be in my corner.

5. Realize it's okay to take risks

No one in the history of life has grown by staying in their comfort zone! That's why it's called the comfort zone! It's meant to make you feel comfortable not grow! So the next time an opportunity arises that I want to take but am too afraid to do so, I will smack myself because my ass is clearly not living unapologetically (yeah sometimes I need to check myself).

6. Consistently reach out to my mentors

It doesn't have to be every day of the week. But every once in  while it's good to check in with people who have helped you progress along the way. I still remember the woman who's provided me with my first three jobs in corporate, yet I've fallen out of touch! It's unacceptable and my biggest thank you to her is letting her know that I am okay and because of her, I have experiences that have helped shaped me professionally and that I am forever grateful for.

7. Accept that I will get s***** on by people who I didn't expect to fail me, and I'll have to get over it

There will be people in your life who were once great but will lack the common decency, to give you the respect and courtesy you deserve.  There will be people who will change at the drop of a dime and one day become different from when you first met them. Things happen, the seasons and people change. I am not the same woman I was two months ago and damn sure ain't the same person I was six years ago. It's just a fact of life.

8. Always speak up for what I want 

There will be times when I will be uncomfortable to say things.I may never have had the opportunity to speak on certain topics. But I promise that in understanding there is a time and a place for everything the moment I am able to declare what I want it'll be a lot easier to see where I'm headed.

9. Remember that #BLACKLIVESMATTER and will always matter

I don't care how big I will become or what I will be known for. I've seen from the bottom to the top people of color lose their identities, become dragged out, lose their voice, or play silent in the midst of standing for their beliefs! I will not be one of them because my life work is dedicated to changing the system and this is what has motivated to become the woman I am today. There is no losing my consciousness, I must stay woke.

10. Stop comparing myself to other people 

When I first set out on doing this, It was one of the biggest joys of my life, because I realized I am here for a reason and what others are doing although it may be encouraging  my life is not theirs. I will not start and end on the same path as others, I am on my own journey so with that said I must inspire myself to stop comparing and redirect that energy on my goals!

11. Never forget where I come from

I owe a lot of who I am and what I've become to the city of Rochester, NY. This place raised me and I must give back.

12. Realize that no one can do me better than me and I must remain confident in that 

What makes me unique is that I am myself! I am Charlisa Fayette (Cookie) Goodlet. I am a Goodlet woman. I am the only Charlisa Fayette Goodlet. I am a BLACK woman and I'm lit! My goals are lit! My story is lit! And my future has no choice but to be lit because non-litness is not an option. You cannot imitate me because my DNA is genetically made for an one of a kind specimen! I a firm believer that everyone should feel this way about themselves.

13. You can't hurry love, no you just have to wait

I can hold on to the dreams of meeting a Quincy and Dre all I want (if you haven't watched The Wood or Brown Sugar, please do) because he will not arrive on my time. And this is perfectly fine, but it doesn't mean I should not explore. But let's make one thing clear if he's not up to part he'll get cut off the potential bachelors list faster than the last verse on O.T's Cut It.

14. I must travel at least once a year

Who knows what the next 9 years have in store for me. But I know one thing, it's imperative for me to travel to see what LIFE has to offer. A scrapbook is in order!

15.  My career comes first

Bringing it back to my first goal, my ability to be stable, to provide for my family, to be successful is dependent upon a stable career. Without a stable career my dreams to go to and from, poverty ending with me, and to live as I damn welllll please (Martin voice) is nonexistent.

16. It's okay to be selfish 

I can't take the world's problems on my shoulders. I can't expect to fight for everyone and everything If I'm not putting myself first. This past year I learned It's okay to focus on yourself before you give to others. I learned the hard way but hell I have my whole life to get it right!

17. Cry when you need to and understand it's okay to be vulnerable

Maybe it's because in my relationships with my family and friends I've always been that shoulder to cry on and not cry out. It may because I am afraid to be vulnerable because of the hard exterior I carry, but real thugs (lol yes I went there) cry!

18. Invest in myself

There's a fear I have in going for mines! Going for what I deserve and going for my dreams. Yet these are the same reasons I have yet to reach my goals. So I promise myself I will invest in myself because nobody will believe in me unless I invest in me.

19. Remember a setback is only a setup for something greater

This is pretty self-explanatory.

20. Surround yourself with people who not only love you but inspire you

If they don't inspire me why am I surrounding myself with them?

21. Live like I'm dying

Remember that show the Buried Life from MTV that showcased the life of four males on the quest to mark off their bucket list? They've always inspired me to live like I'm dying. So today I will begin writing a bucket list and thankfully I have two items I can already mark off.

What will  you live by unapologetically?


  1. This is a great list! You have it way more together than I did when I turned 21. Great job! Stick to it! #blmgirls

    1. Thank you Saisha! Off to visit your site!