20 Something Rants: I Need To Reset My Life

Photo: GIPHY

Sometimes, I need to remind myself of who I am:

She's got pimples on her face, body acne, and a rotating tooth.

She never got braces, and would probably be an adult getting her smile corrected. She can only dream for her perfect smile.

Sometimes she doesn't want to get out of bed, other times she prefers to get away.

She enjoys being around people as much as she enjoys being alone. At times she's never felt more comfortable in her own company.

She loves old ass Black cult films, but hates Blaxpolatation ones. Oddly enough, her favorite singer Bobby Womack contributed to one of them.

She's sensitive as hell and does not like to be outcasted in any way, shape or form. When she feels outed for, she runs into her shell.

She will listen to the same song over and over again 50Xs in a row and NEVER GET TIEDD.

She's great at giving other's advice but never has enough faith to believe in herself or her journey.

At times she can be insecure.

At times she can hold grudges like no tomorrow and refuse to let go of the past.

In the same breathe, she will wonder: "what's holding her back from reaching her full potential"?

She can emotionally invest herself in sh*t that makes no sense for her well being even subconsciously.

She can be so forgiving of people.

At times she is too pessimistic and never seems to have faith in all she can achieve.  She's can be dependent on validation, she can hide pain well, or she can talk about pain so much that she blocks her opportunity to heal.

And it is because of these same reasons, she needs to reset her life.

Last year, I wrote an article titled 21 Unapologetic Things I Will Live By for The Rest of My 20s. In my 22nd year of life I can say, honestly, that I failed to abide by them.

Photo: GIPHY

This is not to say that I can't achieve to live unapologetically by these things each day. But, moreso that they serve as goals I would like to achieve not only throughout my 20's but the remainder of my life.

I'm starting to notice that I am becoming complacent in my emotions. I am comparing my journey too much to other people and I'm losing sleep by being lost in my thoughts.

This is unhealthy.

My mental health is becoming challenged and it's taking a toll on my body and its functions.

So, when I say I need a reset, it is not a joke or a statement of me trying to disregard my troubles. It's a reality of me honestly, needing to step back and for the next 15 weeks in 2017  FIND MY SANITY.

I can't keep chasing the sunrise without have the emotional, physical and mental energy to press forward.

My next step of womanhood depends on it.

I encourage all others who may feel a little woozy in their current life and need to refocus to do the same. Sometimes we need to reset in order to obtain better results.