Broke Narratives: The Spin Cycle of Family Financial Burdens

Man being broke, is annoying.

But you want to know what's worse? Being broke and carrying the financial burdens of other people.

Perhaps, it's lending a helping hand to a friend or family or being trapped in the spin cycle someone saying "hey, can I hold something for XYZ?" I often wonder how many people are like me, feeling stuck in the same cycle of being financially drained by supporting others.

Over the years, I felt I had been trapped in the same spin cycle; somehow I've managed to maneuver my way through life. I don't say this proudly.

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My experience of carrying the financial burden of my family members started a the age of 18. It was like my life was predestined to help others and it has hindered my ability to focus on my needs, dreams, and desires solely. I've lived for everyone but myself, inside, I am deteriorating.

Statements like these hunt me:

"Niece, can I have $5.00."
"You, don't want to look out for the family?"
"I need to borrow a couple of dollars to take care of some things?"
"My account is running on empty, can you please save me?"

That's not because I don't want to help out, but I don't have the funds to give. I do so, anyway in the name of family and when I have nothing, there is no one to help me.

In my head, I'm screaming FUCK!!!!!!!! I can’t keep living like this.

I was recently having a conversation with a close coworker of mine; we were discussing the stress of overextending ourselves to help others.

It gets to the point where you feel that you have overextended yourself to and after a while, some people think that are entitled to your assistance. I mean it's only "lending a helping hand."

The reality is, I can't do any more than what I have, and sometimes that means I can't help at all. Some of our friends and relatives keep coming to us for assistance not realizing how much their dependence is inhibiting our personal growth.

I would much rather have my shit on point, to be frank, being able to do what I want without my account saying "okay you better not look at me because "I.CAN’T. HELP. YOU." I guess that makes sense when you've put everyone else above your own needs. It's crippling!

Although, its ok to say No! (That’s a complete sentence just in case you're wondering ).Sometimes I have to admit when saying no, I feel guilty. You begin to feel like you're not trying to help or you don’t care, even when that's not the case.

Then, you begin to take a step a back, if you were not there to the break fall of a loved one, how else they would get the help they need?

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Then IT hits.

I have failed to realize is that  I can’t help every time someone needs something. How can you help someone when you can barely keep your head above water?

What I have learned is that it's time to make sure my bank account can sustain ME not anyone else.  Being broke is temporary! It's time that I make sacrifices for me and my future, and that starts with me putting myself first.