20 Something Rants: I’m Learning To Create My Own Light
When things in life don’t go as intended you have to learn to love yourself! When you believe that the struggle will never end just remember to love yourself.
Lately, I’ve been hard on myself. I guess that's because I’m my biggest critic. It’s not that I’ve missed goals but I have mismanaged my time and energy. I’ve been slack, unmotivated and I have gone through a dark phase in my life. Now that I have crawled out through this dark hole, I am reminiscing about my lesson. I learned the importance of maintaining and prioritizing what matters to me in my world. This includes what energy I am calling to me and the energy spaces I walk into.
During this time in the darkness, I like to call “my beginning 20 life crisis” I’ve been panicking like hell. I feel young and extremely old at the same time. I'm pressuring myself to achieve things now in 10-15 years my best self would be able to do. I’m competing with my future self, a woman I am not yet. I suppose now in my life it’s the biggest flaw I have.
It's easily to view 9 posts on the feed of someone's Instagram and feel like I’m not doing enough, that I'm not solid enough as if my journey is not validasf. I’m crawling and at times I speed off quick fast.
The thing is on social media we only post greatness! This greatness consists of the best pictures, experiences, memories, and nothing of the opposite.
That’s because we understand ain’t shit cute about struggling, feeling out of place or living in darkness. In fact, the only cute thing about living in darkness is seeing when the light comes.
Yet, there are two things we can do when times like arrive. The first is to become morphed in darkness, to become angry, try to rush time and move in solitude.
The latter consists of us developing our own light in the darkness, our own positivity and relying on these things to help see our way out of darkness.
For now on I’m creating my own sparkle of light.