#20SomethingRants: Just Because You're Grown Doesn't Mean You're Wise
Back in the day, when I was young, I’m not a kid anymore, but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again.
“Respect your elders.”
“Listen to adults when they are speaking to you.”
“Stay in the child’s place.”
These were three golden rules I heard repeatedly growing up that helped me to understand I am a child and nowhere near the level of “adulthood” in the eyes of the elders in my life. Raised in a southern Black household, these rules were standard, and if I challenged them, whoa baby.
As a youngster, I often thought being an adult meant you had more wisdom, triumphs, and coins.
That could not be further from the truth.
Although the examples around me in “adulthood” were confusing as I began to enter adult spaces, I was aware that age doesn’t necessarily correlate to wisdom.
I’ve been labeled mature for my age my entire life. It’s because I’ve looked older than my age, thanks to my height.
Once my age caught up with my height, and I began to adult, I realized that adults are nothing more than big ass kids who pay bills. I don’t understand the hype of “ being grown” anymore, I will rather be back in my mother’s womb so I can start all over again. #Letsdoitagain #Babygirl
Children, for the most part, are innocent joys, love to explore and maneuver through life without any responsibilities other than to live. They didn’t ask to be here, they are just here.
Adults, well, they are different kinds of beasts. Adulting is nothing more than a scam, a title and we yearn for our innocence only to be fighting in grocery store lines and with people in society who just don’t understand where they got you fucked up. We want all the clout of being an adult but no responsibility except when someone older than us says “you ain’t that grown.” We look to boast the saying “with age comes wisdom” knowing damn well there are some people who are not wiser than a nickel and only relate age to wisdom because it makes them feel better *insert St. Louis voice here.
And this is precisely what I’m calling out. In my journey of adultland, my elders have often said: “With age comes wisdom.” “I have wisdom.” “When you get to be my age…..” but they are the most problematic, #NOTALDULTGOALS, your life is self-destruction, you’re headed for self-destruction that I’ve ever seen.
To be frank, we all have sh*t to work on, but when you simply think your age gives you a pass to gloat and say you are grown babbbbbbbbby have a seat. Go to therapy.
I think we need to remove the notion that adults are better at interpreting life because they have more life experience. I don’t care if this was its research-proven that adults are in fact, more mature. I will say, I think some adults give sound advice based on their experiences that are extremely helpful and beneficial to a #20SomethingsGrowth and then there are others who I have no words for.
I know so many people who are young and wise based on their real ass trauma experiences a.k. a I should’ve never had to go through this shit as a youngster and never once do they have to gloat about how wise they are, and they can hold their own in a room full of big ass 30-year-olds.
Just because you are grown doesn’t mean that you have maturity, tact, and smarts. There are plenty of examples of this on the internet. I’ve met many people Big Grown who call themselves providing advice, and communicating but they sound crazy and deranged (*insert Martin Lawerence voice here).
I’ve had ENOUGH.
As I evolve, I hope that the “wisdom” I claim to have is not a fraud cover for the shit I really need to work on. I hope it’s not masked in “fake positivity” and golly I hope when I say when get to be my age I really am putting on a youngster on game to advice that is sound and logical.