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'Insecure' Teaches Me: Jury Booty Exists And We Are Confused And Living Single

Photo: GIPHY

Insecure
 Season 2 premiere ‘Hella Great’ is just that f*cking good. So let's unpack it! For those who haven't had the opportunity to see it yet, just know this post will contain SPOILERS!

As we enter the new season our lovely Issa is emotionally paying for her sexapade with Daniel from last season.We're learning she still has feelings for Lawrence and let's be real we all knew she would đź‘€. Although she's trying to maneuver her life as a single Black woman now she's unable to shake her love for Lawrence and wants him back.

Photo: GIPHY

Going through a wack ass dating site to bounce back in the field, she realizes she's annoyed with the pool of men she's encountering. How many of us have swiped through Tinder knowing damn well there's no love connection on the other end?  Anywho, in the best Issa fashion she tries to prepare for the moment when she sees Lawrence again and learns there's no real for her to prepare as the partner who f*cked up.

On the other hand, Lawerence this season appears to be doing fine without her. He is still blowing Tasha's back out and exploring his freedom as a single Black man "who's just having fun". I wonder how Tasha feels?

When Lawrence and Issa finally link they have sex (can we say jury booty lmao) and there's a big ass elephant in the room that neither of the two seem to address. All that big girl talk Issa wanted to pull alone in her room, she couldn't muster up the words she wanted to say in front of her ex. Sometimes actions speak louder than words though. I'm interested to see where the hell these two end up this season.

I hope she's learned that: Wisdom is better than silver and gold! If you haven't noticed yet, I'm soooo here for Issa and Lawrence to heal but let's get to the rest of the show.

My favorite Molly returns this season fabulous as ever but, is facing some serious career hurdles. She is now a Black Attorney who is underpaid in comparison to her White male coworker. Lorrrrrrrdt, talk about it. I’m going to just let this sit here in hopes that this "problem" of sexism and race gets resolved. In other career news, Issa and her non for profit "We Got Ya'll" (yes the title is annoying as hell) can't seem to get the community they're serving together at all. Side notes: Did you catch the separation drawn between the Latina sista sitting at the table? I know I’m not the only person who feels that Issa's lovely co-worker is a White woman trying to be the White savior. "Sometimes you gotta know when to give up!"

This episode was dope as hell and has me eager to know what's next this season. Here are the lessons I took away from the season 2 premiere episode:

1. We always try to open chapters that are closed.
Maybe it's meant for Issa and Lawrence to be together but maybe it's not. It's so common for us to open up chapters that are closed to figure out if there's anything left behind that we didn't get to. It's like the favorite book you read to fast. But if there's anything to learn, sometimes you've got to let the past rock in the past.

2. We waste time on sh*t we know makes no sense just because it's "convenient".      
Issa knew damn well she probably wasn't gonna end up with a hit on that dating app, but it felt so good for her to see that she could pull these men. Once she got them, she realized they ain't her cup of tea. #WEALLNEEDABOOST

Photo: GIPHY


3. "Guys always want you back when they see you doing good without them"- Molly
Don't act like y'all didn't know this was a thing. Maybe it should say when they mess up they want you back, because this perfectly describes Issa's case. So I've heard this is very true. Maybe it's because that glo hits 10x harder after a breakup. Or maybe it's because of a thing called growth. Whatever it is I know you can't make anyone like you and that's for damn sure. Issa was working hard to get her man back, in the comfort of her own insecurities that is #WELP.

4. DATING IS ANNOYING AS F*CK 
Call me crazy but, I think I found the love of my life....

Girlfriend, it is hard as hell to date. You get to realize the qualities you like and dislike with people but you also realize that maybe you just need to work on your damn self before jumping out the window. Dating is annoying as f*ck and relationships are work people.

5. We have a hard time in believing our realities and saying what we feel.
Maybe it's because we don't know how receptive the other person we need to relay the message to will feel. Perhaps we don't have our sh*t together  and talking about our own pain, discrepancies, and mistakes  will only further confusion. Whatever it is, it’s always better to say what you need to say.


Photo: GIPHY
6. Do not be mad at the situations you knew were wrong from jump and you still continued to play a part in.

There's a social meme going around that sums up what I’m trying to say perfectly. Out of all my screenshots, too many to be honest I can’t find it to post here. Let's just say #OWNERSHIPANDRESPONSBILITY is important.


I'm hella excited to see the next episode of Insecure and bump to the soundtrack. In between the music, storyline, and all of the Blackness of this show I feel like I’m walking through The Souls of Black Women. And yes, I'm too am a part of the Insecure experience.

20 Familar Struggles Only Broke Folks Will Understand

Photo: GIPHY

I was sitting at a stop light next to this car on the street. My sister and I overheard a fellow man and woman arguing about having only $1.00 worth of gas in the car. I looked at my sister as we were talking about our own struggles and we started shaking our heads. It was nice to know that other folks were struggling too.

Not to glamorize the struggle or anything but when you're going through it, there's comfort in knowing you're not alone.

Being broke hurts. Being broke disrupts the relationships you have with others, it throws off your mental health, and your food consumption intake. Being broke can make you mad, inspire you and perhaps can changes your perception. And yes, like any struggle being broke can break you. Here's 20 familiar struggles Broke folks will understand:

1. The off-cycle pay week
The funds no longer are booming the week after you get paid. The week when all the bills are paid but you're struggling trying to figure out your next meal.
2. Everything in life seems to go wrong when you're broke
When there was money in your pocket you didn't have big expenses to deal with. But when you're broke the world of expenses have fallen on your shoulder.
3. Finding unexpected charges on your bank statement
Are you keeping up with your expenses? Nah. Because if you were you'd know those three free trials you've signed up for are no longer free. You my friend have inquired charges.
4. Negative Bank accounts
You wish you could be f*cking up some commas, but instead those negatives are f*cking up you.
5. Choosing what bills to pay
You can either pay your phone bill or the light bill. Of course the light bill is more important. thankfully with your carrier T-Mobile if you wait about 48 hours with your phone off, you can finesse the system and set up a payment arrangement. Thank god for payment arrangements!


Photo: GIPHY

6.  Regular visits to the food coverage
Sometimes you got to hit up the local church for food because being broke is just that serious. At least they have Beeferoni. Be careful on those saltine crackers though, they may taste like soap.
7. Dark Thoughts 
You have the feeling of not wanting to be around anyone, because you need money to move the way you'd like. You might lock yourself in a room, you may remove yourself from social media, but whatever it is you know you're so pissed off, so pissed offfffff, and down.
8. Not having access to an emergency fund
What's an emergency fund to someone who has to survive off of McDonalds burgers and fries as a daily meal?
9. Making a dollar stretch
Ever had to survive off of $60.00 for two weeks? If you did you'd become a creative stretcher. Can we say: How much a dollar cost?
10. Sleeping off hunger 
Sometimes the best way to fill your belly is to go to sleep. You could probably visit a lovely family member's house and hope they have a meal prepared to share with you.

Photo: GIPHY
11. Playing the lottery
Sometimes all it takes is a dollar and a dream. Isn't it strange how this dollar comes when you really don't have money to be spending on false hope?
12. Comparing yourself to others
Being broke is a mentality too. When we focus on ourselves great things can happen.
13. Taking extra special care of everything you own
Money don't grow on trees especially when you don't have the funds to replace what you own. You know one thing though: you're thankful for what you got.
14. Checking your bank account before dining out, then eating from the appetizer menu
You're praying you have enough to cover your meal. What's an entree?
15. Chef Boy-You-Struggling meals
Potted meat, sardines, ramen, corn beef hash, sugar sandwiches, tuna fish and Doritos, you nammmmmmeeeeee it. #ITBUILDSCHARACTER

Photo: GIPHY
16. Riding on fumes
They see you rolling.....You know the lyrics. But, baby you're riding one fumes.
17. Paying half card, half cash
You'd be a fraud if you say you've never done it. Do you have enough on your card anyway?
18. Public transportation pissing you off
It would be nice if you could save for a car! That is if you could get a leg up and a break from the disaster of public transportation.
19. Not wanting to die broke
Can we say no! Hell no! Being broke is not the life. Being broke might have taught us many things about humility but in essence we don't want to live just to get by. We want to be able to live comfortably for our future. At least when we die we want to be able to give something to the next generation and that's not the struggle.
20. Getting tired of working hard for another person's dream
These are the facts of life. It's annoying working hard for someone else's come up, especially when it seems hard for you to climb up the ladder.

Photo: GIPHY

I'm sure there are more broke struggles. What did I miss? The great thing about this list is that struggles can end and we ought to be grateful for the humility we gain from living without.

20 Something Rants: You Better Respeck Those 'Ghetto Girls'

Photo: GIPHY

A White man told me the other day: "I love the way you carry yourself, you're not like those other Ghetto Black women". I asked him to think carefully about his words the next time he opened his mouth to a Black woman to give a half-ass ignorant compliment, before walking away."

A Black man told me a few days later: "You have a typical Black girl laugh but I can tell you're not Ghetto though." Once again, I asked him to think carefully about his words the next time he decided to open his mouth to a Black woman and give a half-ass ignorant compliment." Then I deleted his number. But first, I replied: What do you say to the Black women in your family?


I call out Ghetto Girls like Southern Girl by Frankie Beverly and Maze.

They are the first women who taught me everything.

From my nails to my hair and feet their swags inspired those trends known in your communities.

Your cropped tops, excessive fake golden custom jewelry, long acrylic nails, and asymmetrical hair-dos exist because of around the way girls like them who have paved the way.

Photo: GIPHY

Every cheap weave slay, 10 dollar Broke, Black, Bougie gain belongs to them. The girls who did it for the culture when they didn't have a dime in their wallet to purchase the sh*t that made you feel good. It's the Shaneika's, Keisha's, and Dawndreas who inspired the latest items in your Urban Outfitters, Forever's and any other fast fashion racks you can think of.

The ones who wore purple, blue, green and blonde hair when you told them they were too dark, to bold, and too "Ghetto" to do so. And now these are the same trends following down your Instagram feeds.

The same women who you judge and say these Ghetto Girls don't me sh*t to me, but yet they inspired so much of the American dream.

The same women who built your companies and made you see there were profits in your local beauty  and mom and pop stores. You owe them a bit of your dignity. Again for the repeat: YOU OWE THEM A BIT OF YOUR DIGNITY.

They're the ones who showed us "ain't nothing wrong with a city job" and are always in search of the good life. A feeling that no one can take away.

They're the ones who showed your Becky's swag and  proved that GHETTO women exist even outside of the culture you often associate it with. They're the ones educated folks try to separate themselves from. Like, some of the most educated folks in this world don't have a degree #TEATOOSWEET

Check your DanielleBregoli's the way you do your Daneka's, and Keisha's, hell even Charlisa's and realize your separations are NOT a compliment.

Do not push your problematic views of Ghetto Girls on me.

The Most Vital Lessons I Learned From Jay-Z's '4:44'

I'm late on Jay-Z's 4:44 but that's only because I wasn't signed up on Tidal. I already have two music streaming subscriptions. Shout out to Apple Music and Spotify.

Jay-Z released his 14th studio Album this past Friday and honey it is the end all be all as a Hip-Hop Masterpiece with Rhetoric speaking on the role of masculinity, Black love, growth, financial freedom and the state of the Black community. This piece of work engages in the themes of Braggadocio and Conscious rap and on an international level places Hip-Hop as a teacher for Universal Black uplift. (That ain't nothing new though)

Was Jay-Z the first to dabble in the "WOKE" arena? No. Hip-Hop heads get that. However, the growth he shows from 1997 Jay-Z 'Imagery Player' to 2017 Hip-Hop's Crusader is the reason why 4:44 is vital to Hip-Hop's listeners. Jigga is using Hip-Hop as Hip-Hop has always been as a political tool to wake up his community and acknowledge some of the oldest lessons in Black plight. That's why I'm here for it!

Ownership, responsibility, and vulnerability is what makes this album. Although some of Jigga fellow Hip-Hop artists in the industry felt uncomfortable because he spoke his truth, they missed the big picture.

Photo: GIPHY
It's the sign that says: HEY MY DUDE WE NEED TO GET OUR SH*T TOGETHER BECAUSE WE'RE SENDING THE WRONG MESSAGE TO BROKE BLACK FOLKS WHO THINK THAT SPENDING MONEY IS THE WAY WE SAVE IT.

Substance is key! (*How many times have I written a piece that has said this?*)

So, when Jay-Z said "there's a disconnect we don't call money over here"  he didn't mean to act like he's never used the money phone, but that he's lived and learned that, that era is over. So for those who think it is, that's exactly why the disconnect exists.

Some people want to make it clear that they're focused on the bag. Brotha Plies, I ain't mad at cha!



Anywho, here some of the other vital lessons Jay-Z I took from the album:

1. Be able to call out yourself out on your own sh*t. Check yourself if you're having problems with everyone:
But if everybody's crazy, you're the one that's insane

3. It may hurt like hell but, at the end of the day no matter what Black folks do we can't shy away from being Black! There are still people who exist in this world and see us as nothing more than a n*gger.
Light nigga, dark nigga, faux nigga, real nigga
Rich nigga, poor nigga, house nigga, field nigga
Still nigga, still nigga

Don't let #3 go over your head!

I was watching a recent The Breakfast Club interview with Dr. Umar Johnson, although I'm not a big fan of him Dr. Umar dropped a statement that was factual and very relevant to the lesson of financial freedom given  by Jay-Z:

4. Status symbols hinder our prosperity, financial freedom is our only hope.
"When you can't obtain true freedom you surround yourself with the symbols of that freedom."- Dr. Umar Johnson

'The Story of O.J' is hands down the best song on the Album in my opinion.

5. Nobody wins when the family feuds
Pretty self explanatory. And Hip-Hop needs to get its sh*t together.

6. Relationships are NOT, I repeat are NOT perfect. Not even the ones you label as relationship goals.
Stop idolizing people because no one and no relationship is perfect! Oh, and Black women already knew he cheated, so this new revelation the world fell too just goes to prove the Black women and their intuition are the truth.  Now back to the regularly scheduled program.

7. You look so much better when you smile!
So smile and realize the freedom that exist swhen you do!

As of today the Album has reached Platinum status since its release. Is it now fair to say one elevator ride created three of the dopest albums of our time! I feel like there's still so much more to unpack with this piece.

Trappin On A New Level: The Dopest Trap House in Atlanta



This house gives off very Broke, Black and Bougie vibes #IMHEREFORIT!


Photo: PYRAMIDSANDDIAMONDS (Instagram)

Honestly, if you haven't seen the pink fixture in Atlanta trending on your social media feed, you must have be living under a rock. This weekend while strolling through my Instagram I kept seeing this pink house as the background for most of my fellow Greeks living it up during the Atlanta Greek Picnic.

The more I saw this house trending, I said to myself "is there a trap festival I'm missing out on?" Nah. lol

Hundreds of people are flocking to Atlanta to visit the Pink Trap House. Thanks to 2 Chainz the house was rented and used for a private listening party for his latest album 'Pretty Girls Like Trap Music'. Since then, the house has become a major attraction and hub for popping Instagram photos and folks looking to spread their creativity. I like many other folks love it, it's definitely #FORTHECULTURE. Unfortunately, though the attraction has become a little chaotic for neighborhood businesses on Howell Mill Road. Watch the #PINKTRAPHOUSE report by Fox5Atlanta.

While businesses and drivers may be complaining the #PINKTRAPHOUSE seems to be showing no signs of slowing down! For 2 Chainz this is definitely great promotion for his album, dammit the house even has it's own Instagram page. Cheers to the #Blackfolksmarketingskills, #Trapmagic and all the beautiful folks fake trappin at the #PINKTRAPHOUSE. Here's some of my favorite #PINKTRAPHOUSE flicks I found over the weekend:


His caption was "Pretty N***** like TRAP Music too". Indeed Sir. Indeed.


Photo: TEESCOTTIE (Instagram)

When all saw this all I could say was Hurrrrd you Soror...

Photo: LIKE_AUSTRALIA (Instagram)
Then I died, thinking about the memory of the car and it's relationship with fellow AGP attendees!


Photo: GREEKSHENANIGANS (Instagram)
....Like everyone and their mama hasn't played a part in this car's damage. Did I say this house serves as great marketing?

Slow Down! A Message To The Young Woman Who Feels Like She's Missing Out


There's a song that comes to mind when writing this, 'Slow Down' by Loose Ends.

That song was released in 1986 and basically highlighted the relationship between a man and woman  that was going left. Someone wasn't getting what they needed or wanted and realized that that person or what they were striving for wasn't necessarily fulfilling them. You can decipher the lyrics yourself. My favorite lines from that jam is below:
"Slow down, cause I can't take the heat slow down...
Is this the part you take my heart to wipe your feet on..." - Loose Ends
Mhmm..those lyrics are the truth!

And that's exactly why I'm writing this post because the message in this song is clear!

This is for you because I know you exist. You feel like you're missing out on dating and being in "love". Why? Because you've probably never been in a relationship, you've probably never even kissed a boy/girl of your dreams and you may be eager to see what's out there, ready to take on the dating world. You're the one sharing post like these:


Photo: FACEBOOK
Photo: FACEBOOK


Photo: FACEBOOK


Although they may never surface publicly on your timeline, they're somewhere floating around in your Messenger and Instagram dm's to your closets girlfriends and homeboys.  Alongside those messages with you talking sh*t about how the folks you're interested can't get their sh*t together.

You know sis, you may be all that in a bag of chips and still wonder why nobody is choosing you.

Instead of realizing maybe it's not your time to be chosen you kinda force yourself to be the next pick. Or perhaps you just want to know where he/she is at?

Photo: GIPHY

In your mind you think it's the summer and you're ready to make moves! Honestly, you may be confused about your moves, seeking clarity about what exactly you're missing out on. Although you know it's best for you to do slow down, you don't, you speed up. You don't know if you want a summer fling or a relationship but you're pretty sure you'll play the game until you get what you "deserve". Why? Because you don't have any emotions. Who the f*ck needs a heart when a heart can be broken? On the field there are too many broken shells and sis you're so sure that won't be you.

But somehow you get gamed by the system where your free throws were supposed to land smooth in the basket.






Photo: GIPHY



Sis, it happens to the best of us! Just because you take an L don't mean you can't bounce back. But remember that blessings don't come to those who rush it. He/she may be fine as hell but substance is and will always be key.

Never act out of boredom or substitute your realities for fantasies. You should never compare the situationship/relationship goals (yeah I went there) of another person to your wants and needs. Sis, you should never hop in the pool not knowing how to swim, trying to play catch up.

As the late Heavy D said "you don't want to mess around and you get cha feelings hurt!"

Baby, your #GLOden season is worth so much more than being in the heat of the night.

If you feel and I mean really feel like you're missing out on something, just sit back and ask yourself

Why and what's the hurry?

Photo: GIPHY


Go find other avenues of fun and know that you're really not missing out on much! Keep building on yourself, what is meant for you will come.

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